tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34371925122078851452024-03-05T18:44:37.864-08:00All things bright and beautiful.My life is a movie with an awesome soundtrack.jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-3371189789381915772012-07-16T00:26:00.001-07:002012-07-16T00:26:39.565-07:00Late night doodles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzhyphenhyphenqvOv6SKZei_UZxk1m4vwJtP-F903r-4UC_L_tTuhI5H6roHn3bv5XA2QE1S7UwARj2yCPx8LhhLM73ObbMfPSfyjCSN6MZRb_GGwXm6TLs6toQcz1oQ8GsPi1UZ2tFL6_hZDZyL1w/s1600/DSCN0096.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzhyphenhyphenqvOv6SKZei_UZxk1m4vwJtP-F903r-4UC_L_tTuhI5H6roHn3bv5XA2QE1S7UwARj2yCPx8LhhLM73ObbMfPSfyjCSN6MZRb_GGwXm6TLs6toQcz1oQ8GsPi1UZ2tFL6_hZDZyL1w/s640/DSCN0096.JPG" width="466" /></a></div>
<br />jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-61093428018612794262012-07-15T23:31:00.002-07:002012-07-15T23:32:17.586-07:00Unsaid.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB0g8ybf2Erhf9UUyCgLkflMU9Y9dJwT6YVBwOrWzU7V6Hs2TPjxLxMPw65yb5sGJm9VCPw73xDiTujghUCcYdyZPK0qonVirHREAFhBd9WopfVHc16FkEnF24oud6WXRl5lllhfIxb6E/s1600/DSCN0094.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB0g8ybf2Erhf9UUyCgLkflMU9Y9dJwT6YVBwOrWzU7V6Hs2TPjxLxMPw65yb5sGJm9VCPw73xDiTujghUCcYdyZPK0qonVirHREAFhBd9WopfVHc16FkEnF24oud6WXRl5lllhfIxb6E/s640/DSCN0094.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<i>Love, me</i></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-7186502924967432932012-07-10T23:19:00.006-07:002012-07-10T23:19:52.463-07:00Just a night for random thoughts...<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7IDsL1vAyn7pFSVYww8BwAhaovBB2voYUHUDlUFdcQxUqZ_uGzOSEKB7IRkjrR9EYx9flc41KW7yzj7Hy_hJQLBLPlS18ZQx4qx9nCDjtvYhcfgtxaTIxE-uWr8vjH3rdTyfWw60twBc/s1600/539593_456006787762188_1843779868_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7IDsL1vAyn7pFSVYww8BwAhaovBB2voYUHUDlUFdcQxUqZ_uGzOSEKB7IRkjrR9EYx9flc41KW7yzj7Hy_hJQLBLPlS18ZQx4qx9nCDjtvYhcfgtxaTIxE-uWr8vjH3rdTyfWw60twBc/s640/539593_456006787762188_1843779868_n.jpg" width="444" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I love Southern Alberta on summer nights. There is something so calm and peaceful about this place. I could definitely live here the rest of my life.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I leave for the MTC in exactly 57 days.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I am starting to feel very overwhelmed. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">There is so much preparation to do and I don't know where to start </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I love my momma</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">People always told me, boys will be coming out left right and centre once you get your mission call. I thought this was foolish. Well, now I believe it. Come on guys, where were you all a few months ago?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I get my hopes up way too high</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I am glad I finally had the guts to cut bad friends out of my life.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I don't know how some girls are so confident. I need some tips.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm 21 and just found out what a real date should be like. All you other boys before failed. Miserably. Sorry, not sorry...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So many mixed feelings these days.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I am going to be eating sushi and rice for 18 months...here's hoping I don't get fat...oh yeah I won't because I have to ride a bike every day of my life....in a skirt. Cruel.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I have officially, and completely converted to country music. My fellow hipster friends will be so disappointed in me.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I really want to have a massive pillow fight in a field...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I have crossed quite a few things off my bucket list these past few weeks :) </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">1) Shot a gun</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">2) Laid in the middle of the street at night in the rain</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">3) Caught a guitar pick at a concert</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">4) I have my own star...how amazing is that?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">5) Caught a firefly</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">6) Danced under stars and in the rain</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">7) Found out how many licks it takes to get to the centre of a tootsie pop- 367 in case any of you were wondering.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">8) Taught myself how to play a song on the guitar</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Now if only I could get a few more crossed off before I leave.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I have never been skinny dipping. Sad statement of my life. Need to go</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I really want to get into a taxi and yell at the driver "follow that car!" I'm a dork</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I would also really love to let go of paper lanterns...someone tell me where I can purchase one..or five.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I love this hot weather we are having. But I feel like dying if I am wearing anything other than a bikini.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I am soooo excited to go to the stampedeeeee this week! yeee-haaaawww.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I love boys in pick up trucks. Even If the boy isn't the most attractive, having a truck boosts your rating by at least 4 points.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I am finding so many bruises all over my body and have no idea where they came from...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">It's cute in the movies when people show up at your window...but I just found out it's not so cute in real life...just plain scary....and creepy.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Goodnightttttttttt </span></div>
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<i>Love, me</i></div>
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<br />jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-13026603358973282392012-07-10T00:38:00.001-07:002012-07-10T00:41:20.979-07:00Sister Missionary :)<div>
Apologizing in advance...this post isn't organized at all and is a jumble of thoughts. </div>
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Sapporo Japan...crazy. I can't believe I will be serving an 18 month mission in Sapporo Japan.<br />
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I never in a million years thought I would be called to Japan. I lived in Japan for 3 years as a child and have always wanted to go back. I never thought it would be while serving the Lord. </div>
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When I first opened my call , I was ecstatic. I was honestly just so thrilled that it wasn't Winnipeg. I wanted to go foreign so badly. It took a few minutes to sink in. This is the same exact mission my "father" served in many years ago. My "father" who spent two years of his life preaching the gospel to japanese people and has now decided he no longer believes in something he once felt so strongly about. </div>
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Maybe he never did. Maybe he went because he felt obligated. I don't know what kind of missionary he was... Maybe I am being sent there to do the work he didn't do....I don't know. While talking about this with my mother she said "The Lord has a funny sense of humour". It's true. When I first thought about it I couldn't understand why I would be called to the same mission as him. After thinking about it, I realized it's not his mission. It's my mission.<br />
There are so many reasons why the Lord has chosen this exact place for me. I now have a testimony that mission calls really do come from up above and the Lord really does know our needs and our hearts. He knows that Sapporo is where I am supposed to spend the next 18 months of my life, and I now know that too. Over the past few weeks I have realized so many reasons why I am going to Sapporo. When I was 16 and was still modelling, I was placed with an agency in Tokyo, Japan. I was scheduled to spend an entire summer there modelling. Weeks before my scheduled departure I was told by the agency that if I didn't comply to their requests and take jobs that I wasn't comfortable doing (posing nude etc) that they no longer wanted me to come. I made the decision to not go and to quit all together. I was devastated as I was so excited to go back to Japan where I had spent my childhood years. However, I knew that Lord would bless me one day for the decision I had made to not lower my standards and to stand tall, and he has. </div>
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This past sunday I had the opportunity to go to a mission farewell of a really good family friend. His father is the bishop and was sitting up on the stand right in my line of sight. When his son began to speak , he began to get choked up and cried throughout the entire thing. That is when I burst into tears because in that moment I realized I won't have that experience at my farewell. I don't have a father that cares about me or is proud of the decision I have made to give up 18 months of my life to serve the Lord. He won't be there at my farewell to look up at me with pride and cry tears of joy, or hold my hand after, or tell me he loves me....I didn't receive any sort of contact after I opened my call, still haven't...and most likely won't receive a goodbye either. </div>
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Although I would love to have a father there for a support I have so many other people that love, support and are proud of me. I am so thankful for all the many people who have helped me get to where I am today and have been such an example and blessing in my life.</div>
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I am oh so nervous for what is coming my way in 8 weeks. I know that the Lord will bless me in more ways than I can count if I do this and serve him with my whole heart. I am hoping and praying that I can be a good servant of the Lord and be a useful missionary. I am so excited to give my life to the Lord for these next few months and do his work. I can't think of anything I would rather do.</div>
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<br /></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-13802854404444655382012-07-10T00:06:00.004-07:002012-07-10T00:06:31.800-07:00Wanted.<div style="text-align: center;">
You know I'd fall apart without you</div>
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I don't know how you do what you do</div>
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Because everything that don't make sense about me</div>
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makes sense when I'm with <u>you</u>.</div>
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I wanna wrap you up, wanna kiss your lips</div>
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I wanna make you feel wanted and I wanna call you mine.</div>
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<i>Wanna hold your hand foreve</i>r</div>
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Never let you forget it</div>
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I wanna make you feel <u>wanted</u>.</div>
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As good as you make me feel, I wanna make you feel better</div>
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better than your fairytales</div>
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better than your best dreams</div>
<br />jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-60413413918303059842012-06-08T21:56:00.001-07:002012-06-08T22:02:09.007-07:00Broken Angel- Part I<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You showed him all the best of you, but I'm afraid your best wasn't good enough. He never wanted you...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">at least not the way you wanted yourself to be loved. You feel like you were a mistake...he's not worth all those tears that won't go away...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Still you try to impress him</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But he never will listen</span></div>
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<s><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Broken angel</span></s></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe he would leave you so cold when you were his daughter.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">But the blood in your veins as you carry his name turns thinner than water.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You've grown up with this notion that you were to blame. You seem so strong sometimes, but I know that you still feel the same as that little girl who shined like an angel, even after his lazy heart put you through hell.</span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You're just a broken angel</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> It has been two years. Two years of wanting this dispersed off my shoulders. This weight off my broken heart...</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Two years since my "father" walked away. Away from his family, his beliefs, his life...</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">His addictions were more essential than his family.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Always putting wants in front of needs.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">His selfish hands always wanting more.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">At first, I was numb. I could cover it all...but the ache never stopped. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Almost as if I wasn't affected by his absence. And honestly, maybe I wasn't to a certain extent. Maybe because we didn't have a strong relationship to begin with, it wasn't as bitter of a farewell. It took a few months to hit me. I can now see how this has affected almost every aspect of my life. 4 to 5 months after his departure I went to a very dark place. It was hard for me to leave my bed. I cried myself to sleep every night for months. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I didn't want friends. I didn't want to be around anyone. I was doing nothing with my life. Constantly wanting to hide under my covers for days and wishing it would all go away by the time I re-appeared...</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> This story is different for me than it is for my siblings. At age 8 I knew the kind of person my father was. </span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">At just 8 years old I knew the kinds of things my father was entagled in.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">For 9 years I kept this knowledge to myself. Never once telling my mother or my siblings. The sole reason I never had the kind of relationship with my father that the rest of my siblings had.</span></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> To my siblings, he was up on a pedestal-as he was smart, athletic, good looking, charismatic, and well known in the community. Their relationships were entirely based on sports anyways, never on things that mattered. My mother tried to be a good wife and be his biggest fan. Always sacrificing herself for his well being and that of our family in general.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px; white-space: normal;"></span></span> </span></span></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have never been good enough for him. Never worthy of his love or time. The only time he paid any sort of attention was during sports. Even then, I was never good enough. I will never be good enough. Years of trying to impress him and win his love got me where I am today...nowhere. What kind of daughter should have to beg her father for his love and affection? I will never be able to dance with my father at my wedding, he will never be able to go to the temple with me, I don't have a father to walk me down the aisle, my children will never know their grandfather...</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></span></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A father who could be so self seeking and walk away from everything he helped create remains beyond my comprehension. As far as I am concerned, my father was dead to me the moment he walked out the door.</span></span><span style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have begged and begged him to change his life. Within the span of these two years he has not done one thing to change his circumstances. He doesn't care to. He is not concerned with us or how this affects us. It amazes me how one persons selfish decision can affect so many other lives. A decision made without any regard as to how it would affect anyone else. It is beyond me how someone could mutilate everything pure and sacred. Be able to leave behind the most important things in life with no remorse. No heed to the affliction he could cause to so many battered hearts.</span></span></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">His misconception of the truth is baffling. I can’t believe in words I have heard a million times. Words used just to clear his conscious. Sunken words. “I love you” has become a lie. Nonetheless, it is a lie I haven’t been told in years.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> In a way, I am grateful he left. Glad to have a poison sucked out of our lives. I am who I am because of him. My testimony has never been stronger. I am no longer naive. I wouldn't be as strong or faithful as I am today if he hadn't have left. it took him leaving for me to realize what the most important things in are in life. Family and God. I have learned that people leave your life for a reason. God would never take something away without the intention of replacing it with something better.</span></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-39978412449338224792012-06-06T23:48:00.003-07:002012-06-06T23:49:19.918-07:00God is great.Friday June 1st could have quite possibly been the last day I took a breath.<br />
I will leave the details sparse.<br />
I was in a car accident.<br />
I hit another car, proceeded into the ditch where I ran into an electricity pole and knocked it over.<br />
It was quite possibly, one of the most traumatizing experiences I have had. In that moment, when you're spinning, skidding uncontrollably...you feel helpless. All you can do is pray to God that he will make the blow as minor as possible and that you will still be breathing by the end of it. You completely black out. You can't think. Don't know what your hands are doing or what you should be trying to do...After the impact, you forget what just happened. It's all a blur.<br />
By some miracle, no one was injured.<br />
These past few days I can't stop thinking about the crash. Everything that could have possibly happened. I could have hit more than one person. The electricity pole could have fallen a different direction and seriously injured me, or possibly killed me.<br />
Thinking about it has made me realize how blessed I am. It was a miracle that I, and the other driver walked out of there without a scratch. Someone really is looking down on me from above. I started thinking, I must have a purpose here on this earth. God wants me here to fulfill the plan he has for me. It makes me think that God has a big plan for me. That I am meant to be here. That he loves me and is always looking down on me. He knows me. He cares about me. He loves me. He spared me my life. I can see that it was God's caring hand in this situation, nothing else.<br />
I've always heard members of my church say that while you are serving a mission, preparing or awaiting a call, you have a special protection upon you. I can't say I ever believed this 100% until this accident. I know what my purpose is here. I am awaiting a mission call right now. Right now, my purpose is to serve a full time mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints. I now believe that I do have some sort of special protection over me. Protection so that I can fulfill my purpose and do it with all of my heart.<br />
I am so grateful to everyone that sent me a text that day, the police officers who were so gracious while I was having one of my famous anxiety attacks...and last but not least, my mother. I ruined a brand new beautiful car. She could have been furious with me. Instead she let me know how grateful she was that I was still alive and that cars can be replaced, but I cannot.<br />
I am so grateful for Gods hand in my life and the knowledge that he knows and loves me. I am so very blessed to be here today and to be given the chance to serve him for 18 months.<br />
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<i>Love, me</i></div>
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<br />jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-64609814653521845702012-06-06T23:19:00.002-07:002012-06-06T23:19:30.162-07:00Stand your ground.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Where do I start?...How about I tell you that I simply </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">cannot</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> live without you...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">How about I tell you that I simply cannot breathe without you here by my side.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">You've </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">always</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> been the place where my fears can hide.</span></div>
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<s><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">But not anymore...</span></s></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">What do I say?...How about I start by asking if my love has ever been enough?</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">How about we start with all the secrets that you've kept bottled up in this </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">broken place you call your heart.</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I'll gesture towards you please don't go...if you tell me what i want to know.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Can i change your mind...or is it too late? will you stand your ground or will you change?...</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">and when we get through will you know my name anymore? </span></div>
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<i>Love, me</i></div>
<br />jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-10252369171988028542012-06-04T22:10:00.004-07:002012-06-04T22:12:02.388-07:00I'm a mess, I confess.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXWN3IEO8vasrIQrvlLw2-h-HyXF7-In194jnhh8jfZnmkWp-M5HBzkRG5KhuqXUcBdB-hn8d2GqEAnUVt5mPsJiZtb6LQ47Idutis7r35OyUOazNMQScnMLgfWh1_Zoyu3zXG_Rk4QA/s1600/IMG_0149.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCXWN3IEO8vasrIQrvlLw2-h-HyXF7-In194jnhh8jfZnmkWp-M5HBzkRG5KhuqXUcBdB-hn8d2GqEAnUVt5mPsJiZtb6LQ47Idutis7r35OyUOazNMQScnMLgfWh1_Zoyu3zXG_Rk4QA/s640/IMG_0149.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Our hearts have gotten so good at pumping cheap new lust into our young veins.</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-18332927293718610132012-05-29T23:24:00.001-07:002012-05-29T23:24:08.648-07:00Momma bear<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I apologize in advance for this post as it will be a jumble of emotion. This subject is so dear to my heart, and I have a hard time expressing my love in words.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We all come across a strong</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, influential person who leaves a powerful impact on our lives. Luckily for me, I have had that person since day one</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">. My </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">mother. She taught me how to take my first steps, how to tie my shoes, how to love, she was always there to bandage up my wounds and be a shoulder to cry on. She has always been there for me as my support.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My mother is as intelligent a woman as I have ever known. She would have been successful in any field, but I am forever grateful she saved her brilliance for raising my siblings and I. I am always amazed by the energy she has to clean up after us, drive everywhere, help with homework. I have never seen her have a peaceful night. Her mind is always constantly thinking about us, our future, our problems...</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My mother is the strongest woman I know. I swear everyone claims that about their own mother. But they don't know. They don't know what my mum has been through. She has been through hell. I don't exaggerate. It kills me to see what a toll these past two years have taken on her. It kills me mostly because I can't do anything about it. Words won't change things. I don't even know the right words to say. I wish I could change things for her. Through all of the tough times, she was there for us. She was the first person to pick us up and be our support. She screams, she shouts, but the anger never lasts very long. She never stops giving. She has taught me how to lead my life. She has taught me to believe in people and never take anyone for granted. She has taught me to be loyal. She taught me to stand up for myself and the meaning of a true friend. She is always giving me strength and constantly pushing me to be a better person. Everything I am, I owe to her. I would be nothing without her. My mother is my best friend. I spend the majority of my time hanging out with her, not friends. She is a mother to not only me but so many others. She always suffers in silence. She tries her very hardest to hide things from us. She would take a bullet for anyone. She is a woman of God. She is faithful and loving. I admire her for her unfailing faith in the Lord. Although he has sent an unfair amount of trials her way, her faith never wavers. She has taught me the two most important things in life- The Gospel and family. She has held my family together through the storm. She never gave up hope, and she never stopped trying.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">My mum has always been there for me. Sometimes when things are always in your life, you become complacent. You take things for granted. I am guilty of taking her for granted sometimes. I would be so lost without her in my life. She is my everything. She is my best friend and my pillar of strength. She is the iron woman. She has taught me to never give up on anyone. To love them unconditionally. Her love knows no boundaries. I</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I am forever in debt to my mother. I am who I am today because of her. She is the most amazing woman I know. I can't imagine life without her. I love her for being my friend. For being understanding. I am so thankful the Lord has blessed me with such a wonderful, loving mother. She will always be my best friend. I love her more than anyone else in this world. She is my everything</span>.<br />
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<br />jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-25647664438690735612012-05-22T22:34:00.002-07:002012-05-22T22:38:11.662-07:00Loyalty.<div style="color: #393939; font: 14.0px Helvetica; line-height: 19.0px; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 14.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">You can really tell the difference between an ordinary and a loyal friend. Lately, I have really noticed the lack of loyalty missing in the character make-up of most people. For a long time I would pretend not to notice the lack of loyalty in my own friends. As long as I could stand it anyways. Then sooner or later, a confrontation would happen. The friends would deny there was a problem and things would be ok for a week or so. Then, things would go back as they were before. I’ve finally decided it’s time. Time to cut these people out. It’s not worth it anymore. Life is hard enough without “friends” constantly making you feel small. True, you have no right to dictate their behavior, or tell them what they can and cannot do, but you also shouldn’t have to tell them to be loyal and true to you. Time to move on. Time to surround myself with real people. Real people that know the meaning of the word loyalty and know how to be a true friend.</span></span></div>
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<i>Love, me</i></div>
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<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-45676197647372007852012-04-09T22:31:00.001-07:002012-04-09T22:34:03.551-07:00Putting the pieces back together.<div style="text-align: center;">You say you tried your best, but we both know the truth.</div><div style="text-align: center;">You lost it long ago. Your family won't acknowldege you. You up and left us all</div><div style="text-align: center;">Look what you've ruined...</div><div style="text-align: center;">I can now say with great certainty this won't be easy but I'm letting go of you.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I can now see with more clarity, though my bones are trembling.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We need to move on from you.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We all will heal again.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We all will heal.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkCVk5HvyF0L8q0UIGnhGlQjFWb37PenBlmvUJ7_0DN8awOOw2Wly1wE-b1JjDD6P7aPjoE-C6HNxJ1u3KQZDoRsBFBkgLf-DZ6awSAK5OZzlbGc68J8DXtAfd5PfrhsZhGjAUHH0lFnU/s1600/DSC_6505.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkCVk5HvyF0L8q0UIGnhGlQjFWb37PenBlmvUJ7_0DN8awOOw2Wly1wE-b1JjDD6P7aPjoE-C6HNxJ1u3KQZDoRsBFBkgLf-DZ6awSAK5OZzlbGc68J8DXtAfd5PfrhsZhGjAUHH0lFnU/s400/DSC_6505.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">You looked me in the eye and swore you changed this time</div><div style="text-align: center;">I cant believe in words I've heard a million times.</div><div style="text-align: center;">You locked your hand in mine and promised things were fine just</div><div style="text-align: center;">to clear your conscious. All that you can do is lie, and leave the life you left behind.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We were miserable and broke down inside.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I can feel my heart ache, it constantly reminds me we were never good enough for your love.</div><div style="text-align: center;">But we all will heal again.</div><div style="text-align: center;">We all will heal</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>Love, me</i></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-88540501863113546172012-04-03T19:20:00.000-07:002012-06-06T23:20:48.738-07:00God gave me you.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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God gave me you for the ups and downs</div>
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God gave me you for the days of doubt.</div>
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On my own I'm only half of what I could be.</div>
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<u>I can't do without you.</u></div>
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For when I think I've lost my way,</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">God gave me you.</span></div>
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<i>Love, me</i></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-86481397447358653252012-04-03T01:27:00.003-07:002012-04-03T19:07:26.710-07:00zzzzzzzzzz<div style="text-align: center;">Random thoughts that accompany insomnia</div><div style="text-align: center;">I went to the Hunger Games last week. Made me fall in love all over again and want to re-read the book.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I got my first pay cheque from my new job. Getttiiinnn papperrrr.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I feel spring coming :)</div><div style="text-align: center;">I finally made up my mind and have made one of the biggest decisions of my life. So ready for this new adventure.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Did you know you can still be friends with someone even after breaking up with them? Weird, but kind of wonderful.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Luke Bryan has a beautiful smile that makes me a little weak in the knees. His voice isn't bad either.</div><div style="text-align: center;">My heated mattress is heaven sent.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Eating out is over rated. </div><div style="text-align: center;">You look so good it hurts sometimes.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Having your best friend as your room mate is lovely.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Sometimes it takes years to realize your "best friends" really aren't friends at all.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I could watch episodes of the Ellen show all day every day.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Creeping celebrities on twitter takes up too much of my time.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I bought pink pants and they make me quite happy.</div><div style="text-align: center;">God is great.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I want a puppy dog. Mainly because I have the cutest name in mind.</div><div style="text-align: center;">My family is funny. Maybe I am biased. </div><div style="text-align: center;">My 16 year old sister has more boyfriends than me. What is my life coming to?</div><div style="text-align: center;">Girls are stupid. I sometimes wonder why I don't just stick to having all boy friends.</div><div style="text-align: center;">So excited for summer. Sad it will be my last one with short shorts and inappropriate clothing. Call me a sinner if you want.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I can't help but stutter at work. There is something about the place that turns me into a retard. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I have this urgent desire to go somewhere tropical and wear a coral bikini. Random?</div><div style="text-align: center;">I should probably stop using the words damnit and hell before the MTC</div><div style="text-align: center;">I love being outside. I want to live outside.</div><div style="text-align: center;">I think I am becoming less clumsy. I haven't had a major injury for a few days. Winning!<br />
I have to wear my hair up for work everyday. Love an excuse to not have to do it.<br />
I left my heart in Tennesse...But it's ok because I am going back to get it in a few weeks :)<br />
My heart is finally full, my mind is finally clear.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRF1JArxBieZqm8qRz_aElJJ19zutYf2__W4v8rBCXqmoKZ3EptO-FpJP730SsW-3C9g6zPJA2WAssnW-vQlyJoEn04KPk_JrpPm7nizBpea2m4xSW6InEyL7Vz9USKioKHwsNQ9-xT-o/s1600/Photo+on+2012-02-25+at+19.45+%232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRF1JArxBieZqm8qRz_aElJJ19zutYf2__W4v8rBCXqmoKZ3EptO-FpJP730SsW-3C9g6zPJA2WAssnW-vQlyJoEn04KPk_JrpPm7nizBpea2m4xSW6InEyL7Vz9USKioKHwsNQ9-xT-o/s320/Photo+on+2012-02-25+at+19.45+%232.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This is what happens at 3am.</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(A possible reason why I am single)</div><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>Love, me</i></div><br />
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</div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-70821815870368416262012-02-15T21:21:00.000-08:002012-02-15T21:21:10.303-08:00Silly girl<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Dear 16 year old me,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> You were a very graceless, lumbering, unaware of her limbs the majority of the time, naive, too concerned with others thoughts, insecure, unknowing, mindless girl...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Ok, 4 years later, not much has changed.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Except the naive part.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> 16 year old me, who knew you would know so much more 4 years down the road. If only I knew then what I know now. I wish I could have forewarned 16 year old about all of life's surprises.. Life isn't always butterflies and rainbows. People will wound you...they will betray you. Some people feel the desire to continually batter and disfigure your already mangled heart. High school isn't the be all and end all. Those 3 years will most likely pan out to be the most insignificant of your life. No boy is worth your teenage years. Adolescent, infantile boys who have no concept of, well, anything at all really are a waste of your attention. High school relationships? Take a pass. The "popular people" in high school who you feel have everything, usually end up getting fat. The curious ones that kept to themselves ones and were ridiculed and tormented all three years are usually the most successful.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Human beings are self seeking. Their selfish hands so willing to take but never willing to lend. We are all narcissistic. We all pertain to our own wants while their are others that can't even meet their needs. Human beings are devoured with themselves. We are concerned with our own ache and our own misery. Sometimes we hurt. Sometimes the ache is so fierce it can consume every fibre of our being, every stretch of our life, every image in our head. Sometimes we do a very, very good job of covering up the bruises with a delicate little smile, when really we are so very jaded and weary on the inside. It's exhausting forcing our muscles into a gracious beam upon our face day after day.It hurts. We just want someone to see through the fictitious smile and go to the core to see our deranged, tarnished heart. The thing is, maybe everyone else is hurting too. While we are all so very concerned with others concerning themselves with us, we don't realize they are praying someone will be concerned for them too. Look past the outside. We are all human, we all make mistakes. Some learn from theirs, some will continue to make the same "mistakes" over and over. But, we all know it's not a mistake when it becomes habitual, it is a choice. People will amaze you. Some people will exceed your expectations, some will fall short. Sometimes, we have to be our own hero. Let go of the people that only cause you sorrow. Hold onto the ones that hold onto you. Hold their hand. Be there for them because you never know when you will need them to be there for you. Sometimes it's the people closest to us that end up disappointing us. Sometimes they hurt us intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. Learn to forgive them. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> Wear your heart on your sleeve. Don't believe everything you hear. It's ok to have secrets. Only a select few people actually care, the rest are just curious. Enjoy the earth God has given you, it is beautiful and immaculate. Appreciate it. You don't have to have the best of everything, just make the best of everything. Your plans aren't as important as the Lord's for you. Sometimes they are the same, sometimes they aren't. You will cry, alot. You will fall in love, and you will have your heart broken. Sometimes Prince Charming is just a douche bag wrapped in tinfoil. Some people will like you, some will love you, some will cringe at your very existence. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. Stop trying to please everyone. Not everyone has to like you. If you have enemies, it means you stood up for something in your life. Smile at your enemies and kill them with your silence. Nothing will bother them more. Laugh alot. See the good in people. Don't intentionally hurt someone just because they have hurt you. Kiss more. Sing if you feel like it. People will talk about you because they are envious. Give more than you receive.Take time to breathe. Be goofy. Be yourself. Don't hold back. Sometimes people will walk out of your life. They will come back if they were meant to be in your life. Tell someone when they have wronged you. If you have to question a friends loyalty, they are not your friend.Love with all your heart. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Forgive, but don't ever forget. Cherish your family. Love your life, love yourself.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Love, me</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWbwngnpVfphVNaTpDyRoDjga7udwTFLclaTgSDkWjAeUXDhXXsDOsqch5Pe86L2cR9vTlam4qIhY5MCQBOWmC4LPJM5poz1xE7xFuwDF7OyIk3kIZCUruEE87bS2FORfgmJ1eJ-CgMnY/s1600/aaa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWbwngnpVfphVNaTpDyRoDjga7udwTFLclaTgSDkWjAeUXDhXXsDOsqch5Pe86L2cR9vTlam4qIhY5MCQBOWmC4LPJM5poz1xE7xFuwDF7OyIk3kIZCUruEE87bS2FORfgmJ1eJ-CgMnY/s400/aaa.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-91767127290280482562012-02-13T22:00:00.000-08:002012-02-15T19:49:02.514-08:00Tired<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">SOMETIMES THE </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">GIRL WHO'S</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">ALWAYS BE</span>EN</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">THERE FOR</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">EVERYONE ELSE,</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">NEEDS SOMEONE </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">TO BE THERE FOR </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #a64d79;">HER.</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Love, me</span></i></span></div></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-12009016795323441502012-02-09T10:03:00.000-08:002012-02-15T19:49:31.866-08:00Let go.<div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b><br />
</b></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Colossians 3:13 "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." </b></span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Before now, this was just a word to me. A hollow word that had little meaning. This word has played such a significant role in my life lately. Who are we to withhold forgiveness from someone? We ask the Lord every day to be forgiven of our shortcomings yet we have a very hard time forgiving someone who has wronged us. We, as human beings, expect everyone to give us a break, yet ironically we will find that when others ask us of the same thing we are not quick to do so. I have learned that no matter what someone has done to me, if they completely abandon their pride and come to me asking for forgiveness, I will forgive every time. I want to be forgiven, so I need to forgive others. It's a beautiful thing, the power of forgiveness. It's amazing how it can instantly provide relief and make you feel better. Forgiveness has become so easy to me. I have learned the real meaning of the word, the reasons for it, and why it is such an important thing in all of our lives. I am so grateful for the ability to forgive others and that I am able to be forgiven of my sins. I am so very grateful that the Lord forgives me when I fail him, daily. We all fall short sometimes, say and do things we wish we could take back...Forgiveness cannot change the past, but it can change our future. Sometimes there are no reasons for the things that people do. No excuses or explanations that justify what they put us through. But remember, Jesus told us to forgive the same way our father forgives us. So we can move on instead of staying bitter. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix3KXrfjI6EzDqr9Lj8uhozKtTJfj8KLwOFyTpg2-lk9fOPcI3mofPyJ0yxg4jHpduxDTsUHcaarR0mN02zIaX3SQ7s5AgLU_u8Uj2TaAGtwvfFerHVVKdXt4F4RH9cP3UQ_l36BhvKOg/s1600/192644_162852000437600_139237042799096_364514_4483418_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix3KXrfjI6EzDqr9Lj8uhozKtTJfj8KLwOFyTpg2-lk9fOPcI3mofPyJ0yxg4jHpduxDTsUHcaarR0mN02zIaX3SQ7s5AgLU_u8Uj2TaAGtwvfFerHVVKdXt4F4RH9cP3UQ_l36BhvKOg/s400/192644_162852000437600_139237042799096_364514_4483418_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>Love, me</i></div><div><br />
</div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-83876524888429144252012-01-11T19:03:00.000-08:002012-01-11T19:03:35.208-08:00Dear, the two of you. Love, me.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">No one gets tired of loving</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">but everyone gets tired of </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">waiting, assuming, hearing promises, saying sorry and </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">all the hurt.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>Love, me </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>(aka the girl you no longer care about)</i></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-3362819624483410362012-01-11T18:44:00.000-08:002012-01-11T19:15:08.287-08:00Twenty Twelve. 2011. A year of revelation, discouragement and heavy hearts... The much anticipated farewell of 2011 finally came. It came with no remorse or mourning. It brought excitement for the new year and high hopes of change. 2011 brought change although not many were desirable. We all have regrets, we all spend time wishing we would have done things differently .We all spend so much time waiting, praying, wishing...<br />
Life is bleak. Life is full of trials. Life throws people your way that you won't always get along with. Life is ruthless. Life gets the best of us sometimes. Sometimes life likes to curb stomp us. Sometimes life makes it really brutal to pick ourselves up off the floor. Life is really good at pulling us down, but sometimes when we are down we get lucky enough to experience some ups. Life is beautiful. Life is an extravagant adventure that holds so many delightful things for us. This past year seemed to have many more downs than ups. A lot of tears were shed, a lot of feelings were hurt, a lot of people left, a lot of people came...but through it all, it has made me stronger and has taught me some incredibly valuable lessons<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><u>What I have learned from Two thousand and eleven;</u></b></div><br />
-People won't always live up to my expectations...some won't even come close. The one person that wasn't supposed to ever let me down, did. There comes a time in life when I have to let go of all the drama and the people that create it and surround myself with people that make me smile so big that I forget all the sadness and focus solely on the good.<br />
-Don't try to hurt someone on purpose just because they hurt you<br />
-You'll have your heart broken, and you might break others<br />
-You'll fight with your friends and maybe even fall for one of them<br />
-Trials mold us for the greater good<br />
-Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.<br />
-Just because someone is there all the time doesn't mean you should take them for granted.<br />
-God would never take something away from me without the intention of replacing it with something better<br />
-Count to ten, breathe<br />
-People leave your life for a reason. If they come back it will be on their own time.<br />
-Sadly there are very few people that you can really truly trust<br />
-It isnt what we say or think that defines us but what we do<br />
-When everything seems to be going wrong in my life, my mum can always fix it. She is the most selfless, beautiful, strongest mum there ever was<br />
-Never make important decisions when you are angry<br />
-Sometimes, silence is better<br />
-Time does not heal all wounds<br />
-It's ok to cry<br />
-Listen without defending<br />
-No one is fine on their own<br />
-It's ok to tell people that they have hurt you<br />
-Apologizing is much easier than arguing<br />
-People change and may never be the person you used to know<br />
-Forgive people freely if they are repentant<br />
-If you make the same mistake twice, it's not a mistake, it's a choice<br />
-We all have problems<br />
-It's ok to take a leap of faith<br />
-Every girl deserves to be treated like they are the most beautiful girl in the world<br />
-Taking risks and putting yourself out there will almost always have a better outcome than sitting in the shadows and wishing you had the guts to do something<br />
-Lauren and Ashley are the most supportive, trustworthy sisters to walk this earth. I am so blessed to have two amazing sisters that would do anything for me.<br />
-Some people aren't meant to be in your life<br />
-People are selfish<br />
-You can't judge people based on their past<br />
-There are boys out there that are worth your time<br />
-Blood means nothing to some people<br />
-Khurram and Clay are the best brothers I could ask for. I love them dearly<br />
-Lindsay, Katie and Maryn are possibly the best friends I could ever ask for. I am so grateful for them and the examples they set for me<br />
-Love will take and take and take until you give more...and even then, it isn't always enough.<br />
-I will never know why<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender who you are for what you could become."</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Love, me</i></span></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-27514270994346283732011-11-23T19:32:00.000-08:002012-01-11T19:10:17.354-08:00Perfect Disaster.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Verdana; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I know some things should just stay broken...</span></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Verdana; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I'm well aware this should remain unspoken</span></span></span></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0C9jpWJVHmrMkdi2fqHZ9oyOwnOm0OZ_2C1lLzLToqYSpe0s1v7ntEw4RXpKQ5ZUQ1BskToh9zlG1PzpbWQDXDnZ_gThFi5-qMzX70TTXOTOD4QZy9JEn7E2WjtdbOObkr7NgxuuJlNM/s1600/131677_139297456126388_139237042799096_231088_6506845_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0C9jpWJVHmrMkdi2fqHZ9oyOwnOm0OZ_2C1lLzLToqYSpe0s1v7ntEw4RXpKQ5ZUQ1BskToh9zlG1PzpbWQDXDnZ_gThFi5-qMzX70TTXOTOD4QZy9JEn7E2WjtdbOObkr7NgxuuJlNM/s320/131677_139297456126388_139237042799096_231088_6506845_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font: 13.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 13.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I know sometimes you only twist me, and you’re too proud to say you miss me. But what if here and now, I tell you that I’ve figured you all out?</span></div><div style="font: 13.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Or </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">maybe</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> I just like how that sounds...<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 13.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">There's no yellow </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">bricks to follow back, and run from that disaster. Familiar sins, come crashing in, and sever forever and after. It's time for me to leave you here...like you left me.</span></div><div style="font: 13.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">For whats for all in frozen alabaster. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Believe me, </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">There's no place like home.</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></div><div style="font: 13.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 16.0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">A shallow grave, where I can keep your secrets safe. No need to tell me where you've been, I feel it. </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Shallow grave</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">s for </span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">shallow hearts</span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">. For pick-me-ups and fall aparts.</span></div><div style="font: 13.0px Verdana; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">For promises that never started right</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">.</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><i>Love, me</i></span></span></div></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-84602985713191486622011-11-10T09:17:00.000-08:002012-01-11T19:10:45.841-08:00Holding out for a hero.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the God's?</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Where's the street wise Hercules to fight the rising odds?</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Courier New'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I need a hero.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He's gotta be strong, he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">He's gotta be sure, he's gotta be soon, and he's gotta be larger than life.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Somewhere just beyond my reach, there's someone reaching back for me.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat...</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 16px/normal 'Helvetica Neue'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet.</span></div><div style="color: #75a5af; font: normal normal normal 24px/normal 'Courier New'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">I need a hero.</span></div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbxAm1A9aOWIfTsuE2T4GRabd__6ZOJPw-_S2Rg64jr9a7EtDGL35sOVpTAMO7g1_pBoB646q6nhuVhx85LUIvA4R69HtGf0WwuC6LHXunyr-vhf-K7fpL_FExGTccYKB-ahEW-InziG4/s1600/j.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbxAm1A9aOWIfTsuE2T4GRabd__6ZOJPw-_S2Rg64jr9a7EtDGL35sOVpTAMO7g1_pBoB646q6nhuVhx85LUIvA4R69HtGf0WwuC6LHXunyr-vhf-K7fpL_FExGTccYKB-ahEW-InziG4/s400/j.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My life has been full of men disappointing and betraying me. To most girls, these men are supposed to be our heroes. The one’s we look up to, the one’s that would never leave us alone to pick up the pieces, be there to chase the monsters from under our bed....not be the monster. They were supposed to be the one's to hold me and tell me everything would be ok. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Even though my heroes turned out not to be heroes at all, I have been blessed to have others fill their shoes...</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Uncle Brent</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My Uncle Brent has always been my hero. When I was younger, it was because he was the famous hockey player, and NHL coach. We got to meet all the players, hang out in the coaches rooms, get free stuff and meet all the cool celebrities. Now it is so much more than this. As I have grown and spent more time with him and his family I have realized what an amazing person and role-model he is, not only to me but everyone. A few years ago he was diagnosed with a disgusting disease called Parkinsons. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, he has learned to fight. He has done all he can to help research, raise awareness and inspire others with this disease to do all they can. For someone diagnosed with such a horrendous disease, he doesn’t let it slow him down. His disposition towards this trial in his life is valiant and inspiring to me. He is the definition of fearless, strong and faithful. He not only does what is right, he fights for what is right. I marvel at his courage and demeanor. Even though he has so much going on in his own life, he has always been there for my family. I love my Uncle Brent. <span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Uncle Jeff</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My Uncle Jeff is a stainless example of a worthy priesthood holder, dad, uncle and brother. He has been like a dad to me. It’s the little things he does for us that mean the most to me. Whether it’s taking us out in the jeep for driving lessons, waking up at 5am to take us skiing, setting us up on dates ( even though I was not so grateful at the time), taking us to play basketball or just fooling around with us...I appreciate it all. One of the things I admire most about him is the way he has always been there for my mum. He is the kind of brother I wish I always had. He is so busy with his own life, yet he always finds time to check in on my mum. I know that whatever happens he will always be there for me and my family. I love how much his kids admire him and how he truly is their hero. I will be forever grateful to him for all he has done and for just being the person he is.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James (Winks)</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I love this kid so much. Words can’t explain. We have known each other almost our whole lives but weren’t really friends until I was in grade 11. We are both awkward, tall, shy and sarcastic. Naturally, we had to be friends. I never laugh harder than when I am with James. He is one of the most amazing people I know, and an incredible example to me. James is spiritual, loving, considerate, devoted and thoughtful. I admire James for the great friend, brother and son he is. Although we have had our “ins and outs” he has been my friend no matter what. He is serving a two year LDS mission right now and I could not be more proud of him. I also didn’t realize how much I would miss him until he was gone. I know he is out there serving with all his heart. James has always been there for me and I am so grateful for the influence he has been in my life and the friend he has been to me. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Khurram</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The brother I never had. Khurram has been my “adopted” brother since he was in grade 9 and I was in Grade 10. Even though he is clearly brown, and I am clearly whiter than white, I still call him my brother. Khurram has always been there for me, through everything. He never lets anyone get away with treating me poorly. He has always had my back. He has truly been a blessing, not only in my life, but in my sisters and my mum’s. I can talk to him about anything and everything. He is always willing to listen to me and always knows the right words to say. Even when I don’t tell him what’s going on in my life, he somehow always knows when I need a text, hug or visit. I am so grateful he came into our lives. He has been there through thick and thin. I love that we can just lay in my mum’s bed for hours watching tv or just talking, go for drives late at night, toilet paper all his friends houses, or have pillow fights. No matter how far apart we are he will always be a part of my life. </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px;"><br />
</span></span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Sometimes Prince Charming turns out to be not that charming at all. That just means we have to keep looking. We can't let one person betraying us lead us to believe that all people will. There will always be someone in life you can count on. </span></span>Although my original heroes didn't live up to any sort of </div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">expectations, others have.</div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: right;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>Love, me</i></span></div></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-77114585699172309582011-11-07T21:53:00.001-08:002012-01-11T19:11:16.847-08:00Unfinished.<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> This post is long over-due. There is no right, or easy way to explain this. The hurt caused by this can’t be explained with words. The feeling of hurt, betrayal and resentment will never depart. Those feelings will never cease to exist. I will never lose consciousness of what you did. I will never fathom how someone can be so narcissistic and selfish. I will never forget how you tore apart everything pure and sacred. </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> You had it all, and you chose to throw it all away...and for what? Your idea of happiness? Lying, cheating and manipulation have never been known to bring happiness. You chose to leave the two things that bring the most comfort and bliss in this world. You took away the two things I always thought I would have in my life, without any regard as to how it would affect me or anyone else. All you are concerned with is yourself, your “needs” and your wants. </span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> I have tried so hard to forgive all the things you have done and all the pain you’ve inflicted. It’s not easy when everyday you find another way to tear us down. We’ve all tried over and over to understand, help, forgive....I have had enough. There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Love, me</i></span></span></span></div></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-33297742859269027832011-11-07T21:52:00.000-08:002012-02-15T19:53:53.116-08:00Let Go, and Let God.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">When we have nothing left but God, </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">we discover that God is</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">enough.</span></span></u></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidy7be296u-Zerbo5lC1eWWHTmz4fEbyhq5q1TQjAMZ9YbyRSQR1IHy70IMcs_c6yzRCmIT7z3-E7wBN7_uB7-Z1-LjEpJOxrUOgy2oUuionrIw5B3TDwbHIPIFM6miErzQPj_hkON49A/s1600/aaaaa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidy7be296u-Zerbo5lC1eWWHTmz4fEbyhq5q1TQjAMZ9YbyRSQR1IHy70IMcs_c6yzRCmIT7z3-E7wBN7_uB7-Z1-LjEpJOxrUOgy2oUuionrIw5B3TDwbHIPIFM6miErzQPj_hkON49A/s400/aaaaa.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><i>Love, me</i></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-37696468622693279192011-10-03T22:53:00.000-07:002012-02-15T19:52:02.695-08:00It's hard to fight when the fight's not fair.<div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">"To truly love is to have courage to walk away and let the other person who wishes to be free, go. No matter how much it hurts"</span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCgKQG3eol8_IBui5RNQemMJ2L4DbnZiPqqJRFG-LLpArtfeQuQoII-5McFQEw9lLeOekGhK-KPho6myAeKB72WV0EXtOTVpXjdZxaDP8hIQ4QfzaweUeYptYIe0lEWK98VV0NXCL3Tm4/s1600/DSC_8213.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCgKQG3eol8_IBui5RNQemMJ2L4DbnZiPqqJRFG-LLpArtfeQuQoII-5McFQEw9lLeOekGhK-KPho6myAeKB72WV0EXtOTVpXjdZxaDP8hIQ4QfzaweUeYptYIe0lEWK98VV0NXCL3Tm4/s400/DSC_8213.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;">Trust is a very valuable thing. Trust is something that shouldn’t be taken for granted. People don’t always cherish trust how they should. Trust isn’t a puzzle. It can’t be taken apart and simply put back the way it once was. I have found that if people can’t be respectful enough to value your trust in the first place, they probably won’t respect it in the future. Over the past 3 1/2 years I have had my trust divided over and over and over. It’s been stomped on, annihilated, thrown out the window...The apologies always came...but were never sincere. They never came at the right time, only when it was the right time for them. I continued to see this person through rose colored glasses. It’s exhausting walking around on egg shells day after day trying to please someone that does nothing but tear you up. Trying to bend over backwards to repair a relationship that they initially broke seemed nothing but unfair, but with unfailing faith, that’s what I did. It’s not effortless trying to repair damage when only one person is making an effort. I have always given this person the benefit of the doubt. I knew this person and how they were before they became a stranger to me. I kept hoping that the person I once knew and loved would come back if I continued to love them and support them no matter what unspeakable thing they did to me. I kept forgiving, loving, believing, hoping.... it’s like holding onto an invisible string that could snap at any given moment, trying to make your way through a sand storm. I kept holding on through the hurt, betrayal, lies, hoping one day we could make it through the storm. The thing about words is, once they roll off your lips, you can’t take them back. You can’t take back the hurt you caused someone, the sleepless nights, the lies you told, the words that cut like knives. Apologies can make the present better, but they can’t take away the past. It’s like people say, “ I can forgive, but I will never forget”. I have worked so hard to forgive this person, and it hasn’t been effortless or easy. It seemed like every time I had forgiven this person and moved on, they wanted to test me. They insisted on causing more pain. They took advantage of me. They knew no matter what they did, I would always forgive them. And that’s what I did, for a really long time. </span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> It’s </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">not</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> ok the way this person has treated me, or anyone else for that matter. The things that have been said and done are </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">NOT</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> ok. The decisions they have made and are making are </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">not</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> ok. It’s </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">not</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> ok. The situation is </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">not</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> ok. The pain they’ve caused is </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">not</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> ok. It’s </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">not</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> ok that I keep letting this person get away with murder. </span></span></span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">None of it is ok</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. But it’s their salvation, not mine. I get to choose mine. And I refuse to let their bad choices continue to affect my happiness. It’s time to let go of something I’ve been holding onto for what seems like decades.</span></span></span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> Sometimes, we have to give up. “Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak, sometimes you’re just strong enough to let go” (Taylor Swift). I’m putting my hands up and walking away. It’s been a long time coming. I’ve been holding on so firmly for so long that my hands have become numb and can hold on no longer. I’m letting go of the string that’s led me through this unnerving and un-ending maze. I’m so very tired of being dizzy from all the circles this person has kept me spinning in. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sometimes people matter more to you than you matter to them. That’s something you can’t change. It’s time to let go of the hand I’ve been holding onto for so long, because that hand will never hold mine back. I can no longer enable this person to cut people down. I can no longer stand for this person when all they do is stand for themselves.Sometimes we have to hit the bottom to see through the tunnel up to the top. I hope this person reaches that point. It's time for them to fall on their face to be able to realize they could have prevent the whole fall in the first place.I will always love this person, no matter what, but I can no longer let them be a part of my life. Maybe losing everything that was once important will be a wake up call. That’s what I can hope for at least. That’s the only thing I will continue to hold onto. The hope in my heart. All I can do now is pray for this person. Pray that they will learn what’s important in life. </span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Because all that matters is love.</b> </span></span></span><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Love, me</i></span></span></span></div></div></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3437192512207885145.post-30594877584697222022011-09-27T17:57:00.000-07:002012-02-15T19:54:32.070-08:00We fall on our knees.<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;">This past Sunday was Fast sunday. While most people dread fast sunday, I love nothing more. Fast Sundays are the best Sundays. I love testimony meeting. There is nothing that strengthens my testimony more than listening to people my age get up to the stand, drop their fear and pour their hearts out for their love of Christ and his gospel. This sunday I got that burning feeling in my chest. It’s a feeling that doesn’t compare to any other. Your body feels shaky, your heart is beating at an uncontrollable pace, yet you feel so calm and peaceful at the same time. This is when I know I have to get up to the stand and express my gratitude for all the things the Lord has done for me. Right before I was about to get to my feet, we ran out of time in the meeting. I wish I hadn’t fought it for so long. Since I didn’t gather up the courage in time to do it on Sunday, I thought I should write down what I was feeling that day and what I would have said. That morning, I received terrible news. It had been a struggle of a day, and it wasn’t even 1:00 yet. I contemplated getting back into bed and pulling the covers over myself, as a shield from the rest of the world and hoping that when I woke up all my worries would be long gone. This is what I usually do when I feel life has just become too messy to deal with. However, I put on my pretend smile and walked out the door. I knew church was a better option than staying in bed. Sitting through Relief Society was a struggle. I couldn’t help but let my mind wander to the terrible news I had heard that morning. I dislike making a scene, and find crying in front of people humiliating. I got up and slowly paced to the bathroom-thinking that would be some sort of safe haven. I cried, and cried some more. Than composed myself and went back to the Relief Society room. I wasn’t planning on falling apart after that, but when does anything I plan work out. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span> The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. Our sunday school teacher shared an experience that related directly to what I was dealing with. It was just what I needed to hear. She didn’t say everything will be ok, or that things have worked themselves out, but knowing I’m not alone is all I needed. Just knowing that someone else is dealing with similar circumstances brought me peace. I am so glad I decided to get up for church that morning. It is my safety net. Every single time I have gone through a trial and am in search of answers, I always receive them at church. The Lord really does know me and love me. It is not a coincidence that I am always provided with answers to my questions, not always when I want, or how I want, but they always come. Without the Gospel, I would not have the surety of knowing everything will be ok and work itself out in the end. The Lord will never present me with something I can’t over-come. I heard a quote on sunday that read “ Sometimes the answers don’t always come when you’re on your knees, but when you are out, and up on your feet”. This is so true. The Lord is there to aid us, but we have to get up and change things. If we aren’t happy with the way things are going in our lives, we have to take initiative and do something to change our circumstances. I am so grateful for the Lord, and all he does for me. I can’t even begin to describe all the things that gospel has done for me and the influence it has on my life. I would be nothing without it.</span><br />
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<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>Love, me</i></span></div></div>jennipetersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03093098293818186279noreply@blogger.com0