Silly girl

Dear 16 year old me,
    You were a very graceless, lumbering, unaware of her limbs the majority of the time, naive, too concerned with others thoughts, insecure, unknowing, mindless girl...Ok, 4 years later, not much has changed.Except the naive part.
    16 year old me, who knew you would know so much more 4 years down the road. If only I knew then what I know now. I wish I could have forewarned 16 year old about all of life's surprises.. Life isn't always butterflies and rainbows. People will wound you...they will betray you. Some people feel the desire to continually batter and disfigure your already mangled heart. High school isn't the be all and end all. Those 3 years will most likely pan out to be the most insignificant of your life. No boy is worth your teenage years. Adolescent, infantile boys who have no concept of, well, anything at all really are a waste of your attention. High school relationships? Take a pass. The "popular people" in high school who you feel have everything, usually end up getting fat. The curious ones that kept to themselves ones and were ridiculed and tormented all three years are usually the most successful.
    Human beings are self seeking. Their selfish hands so willing to take but never willing to lend. We are all narcissistic. We all pertain to our own wants while their are others that can't even meet their needs. Human beings are devoured with themselves. We are concerned with our own ache and our own misery. Sometimes we hurt. Sometimes the ache is so fierce it can consume every fibre of our being, every stretch of our life, every image in our head. Sometimes we do a very, very good job of covering up the bruises with a delicate little smile, when really we are so very jaded and weary on the inside. It's exhausting forcing our muscles into a gracious beam upon our face day after day.It hurts.  We just want someone to see through the fictitious smile and go to the core to see our deranged, tarnished heart. The thing is, maybe everyone else is hurting too. While we are all so very concerned with others concerning themselves with us, we don't realize they are praying someone will be concerned for them too. Look past the outside. We are all human, we all make mistakes. Some learn from theirs, some will continue to make the same "mistakes" over and over. But, we all know it's not a mistake when it becomes habitual, it is a choice. People will amaze you. Some people will exceed your expectations, some will fall short. Sometimes, we have to be our own hero. Let go of the people that only cause you sorrow. Hold onto the ones that hold onto you. Hold their hand. Be there for them because you never know when you will need them to be there for you. Sometimes it's the people closest to us that end up disappointing us. Sometimes they hurt us intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. Learn to forgive them. 
    Wear your heart on your sleeve. Don't believe everything you hear. It's ok to have secrets. Only a select few people actually care, the rest are just curious. Enjoy the earth God has given you, it is beautiful and immaculate. Appreciate it. You don't have to have the best of everything, just make the best of everything. Your plans aren't as important as the Lord's for you. Sometimes they are the same, sometimes they aren't. You will cry, alot. You will fall in love, and you will have your heart broken. Sometimes Prince Charming is just a douche bag wrapped in tinfoil. Some people will like you, some will love you, some will cringe at your very existence. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same. Stop trying to please everyone. Not everyone has to like you. If you have enemies, it means you stood up for something in your life. Smile at your enemies and kill them with your silence. Nothing will bother them more. Laugh alot. See the good in people. Don't intentionally hurt someone just because they have hurt you. Kiss more. Sing if you feel like it. People will talk about you because they are envious. Give more than you receive.Take time to breathe. Be goofy. Be yourself. Don't hold back. Sometimes people will walk out of your life. They will come back if they were meant to be in your life. Tell someone when they have wronged you. If you have to question a friends loyalty, they are not your friend.Love with all your heart. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Forgive, but don't ever forget. Cherish your family. Love your life, love yourself.


Love,  me

Tired

SOMETIMES THE  

GIRL WHO'S

ALWAYS BEEN

THERE FOR

EVERYONE ELSE,

NEEDS SOMEONE 

TO BE THERE FOR 

HER.

Love, me

Let go.

Colossians 3:13 "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."



Before now, this was just a word to me. A hollow word that had little meaning. This word has played such a significant role in my life lately. Who are we to withhold forgiveness from someone? We ask the Lord every day to be forgiven of our shortcomings yet we have a very hard time forgiving someone who has wronged us. We, as human beings, expect everyone to give us a break, yet ironically we will find that when others ask us of the same thing we are not quick to do so. I have learned that no matter what someone has done to me, if they completely abandon their pride and come to me asking for forgiveness, I will forgive every time. I want to be forgiven, so I need to forgive others. It's a beautiful thing, the power of forgiveness. It's amazing how it can instantly provide relief and make you feel better. Forgiveness has become so easy to me. I have learned the real meaning of the word, the reasons for it, and why it is such an important thing in all of our lives. I am so grateful for the ability to forgive others and that I am able to be forgiven of my sins. I am so very grateful that the Lord forgives me when I fail him, daily. We all fall short sometimes, say and do things we wish we could take back...Forgiveness cannot change the past, but it can change our future. Sometimes there are no reasons for the things that people do. No excuses or explanations that justify what they put us through. But remember, Jesus told us to forgive the same way our father forgives us. So we can move on instead of staying bitter. 

Love, me