Apologizing in advance...this post isn't organized at all and is a jumble of thoughts.
I never in a million years thought I would be called to Japan. I lived in Japan for 3 years as a child and have always wanted to go back. I never thought it would be while serving the Lord.
When I first opened my call , I was ecstatic. I was honestly just so thrilled that it wasn't Winnipeg. I wanted to go foreign so badly. It took a few minutes to sink in. This is the same exact mission my "father" served in many years ago. My "father" who spent two years of his life preaching the gospel to japanese people and has now decided he no longer believes in something he once felt so strongly about.
Maybe he never did. Maybe he went because he felt obligated. I don't know what kind of missionary he was... Maybe I am being sent there to do the work he didn't do....I don't know. While talking about this with my mother she said "The Lord has a funny sense of humour". It's true. When I first thought about it I couldn't understand why I would be called to the same mission as him. After thinking about it, I realized it's not his mission. It's my mission.
There are so many reasons why the Lord has chosen this exact place for me. I now have a testimony that mission calls really do come from up above and the Lord really does know our needs and our hearts. He knows that Sapporo is where I am supposed to spend the next 18 months of my life, and I now know that too. Over the past few weeks I have realized so many reasons why I am going to Sapporo. When I was 16 and was still modelling, I was placed with an agency in Tokyo, Japan. I was scheduled to spend an entire summer there modelling. Weeks before my scheduled departure I was told by the agency that if I didn't comply to their requests and take jobs that I wasn't comfortable doing (posing nude etc) that they no longer wanted me to come. I made the decision to not go and to quit all together. I was devastated as I was so excited to go back to Japan where I had spent my childhood years. However, I knew that Lord would bless me one day for the decision I had made to not lower my standards and to stand tall, and he has.
There are so many reasons why the Lord has chosen this exact place for me. I now have a testimony that mission calls really do come from up above and the Lord really does know our needs and our hearts. He knows that Sapporo is where I am supposed to spend the next 18 months of my life, and I now know that too. Over the past few weeks I have realized so many reasons why I am going to Sapporo. When I was 16 and was still modelling, I was placed with an agency in Tokyo, Japan. I was scheduled to spend an entire summer there modelling. Weeks before my scheduled departure I was told by the agency that if I didn't comply to their requests and take jobs that I wasn't comfortable doing (posing nude etc) that they no longer wanted me to come. I made the decision to not go and to quit all together. I was devastated as I was so excited to go back to Japan where I had spent my childhood years. However, I knew that Lord would bless me one day for the decision I had made to not lower my standards and to stand tall, and he has.
This past sunday I had the opportunity to go to a mission farewell of a really good family friend. His father is the bishop and was sitting up on the stand right in my line of sight. When his son began to speak , he began to get choked up and cried throughout the entire thing. That is when I burst into tears because in that moment I realized I won't have that experience at my farewell. I don't have a father that cares about me or is proud of the decision I have made to give up 18 months of my life to serve the Lord. He won't be there at my farewell to look up at me with pride and cry tears of joy, or hold my hand after, or tell me he loves me....I didn't receive any sort of contact after I opened my call, still haven't...and most likely won't receive a goodbye either.
Although I would love to have a father there for a support I have so many other people that love, support and are proud of me. I am so thankful for all the many people who have helped me get to where I am today and have been such an example and blessing in my life.
I am oh so nervous for what is coming my way in 8 weeks. I know that the Lord will bless me in more ways than I can count if I do this and serve him with my whole heart. I am hoping and praying that I can be a good servant of the Lord and be a useful missionary. I am so excited to give my life to the Lord for these next few months and do his work. I can't think of anything I would rather do.
0 comments:
Post a Comment