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Thursday, 25 August 2011

So I went out with this guy last night...


Prepare for the longest post in this blogs history.


A few months ago I purchased this book. And guess where I found it? Generations book store of all places (aka the mormon book store for all you non-members out there). I just have to share my love for this book. Genius. This book is pure genius. I kid you not people. Every girl should own this book.
The first 20 pages consist of a list. Here are my favourite ones...

1. Love is Blind...at least the hormones are.
"The hormones are blind! Hormones don't care about the little details. They create the heart-thumping, mind-spinning, palm-sweating, rush of excitement a girl feels when some hottie gives her a little attention. Hormones help one overlook little details that seem insignificant, but can become absolutely huge as time passes"

2.) White Picket fences
" There is a dream many girls grow up with about life in a beautiful home behind a white picket fence. Inside are well-behaved kids who are thrilled when daddy comes home from work. Daddy holds some important job where he has great respect and earns a big pay check. On the weekends he is coaching little Johnny's baseball team or taking Suzie for her ballet classes. For some, that dream gets shattered when Daddy never quite evolves into the man mommy thought he would become. Turns out he would rather be a couch potato with his buddies, yelling at the kids to be quiet, if he acknowledges them at all. For others that dream hits a brick wall when Daddy leaves Mommy for the girl at the office.
Where did the dream go? Why did Prince Charming not become a King?
Life is not always easy. And if you don't start planning for it now, and making mature choices, it can make those trials seem insurmountable. With a strong partner, it is much easier not only to survive, but to thrive."

3.) Watch the Road...NOT THE DRIVER.
"Somewhere along the road to the house with the white picket fence there were likely signs. Some warn of immediate danger while others announce the destination if you continue on. Sadly, there are too many girls who won't look out the window. It is hard to accept that there are problems. Often they don't even see the problems because they are too busy looking over at the guy driving. 
"He is so good looking", "Everyone wants to be with him; I'm so lucky". All very sincere, heartfelt emotions, but so distracting that you forget to look out to see if it is even the road you want to be on. Before long the hills and curves are coming way too fast and all the girl wants is to get out of the car and call someone else for a ride."

4.) Boys and Men
"Being a real man is not about controlling the women in his life, drinking hard and all the other old stereotypes out there. A real man shoulders responsibility. He respects all women and sees them as equals- not to be "lorded over". There are too many boys today who take far too long to grow up. Yes, it is fun to ski, surf and do all the other recreational activities that are available, but those are things to enhance ones life, not determine it.
I encourage girls everywhere to hold guys to a higher standard. Except them to take responsibility for their actions now and find direction for the future. If your man will stand up and be a man you will be all the happier."

5.) Will he Change?
"NO HE WILL NOT CHANGE! At least not the way you expect him to. You cannot base a relationship on hope that you can make him someone else. There is a quote that reads " Women marry a man hoping he will change, Men marry a woman hoping she will not!" 

6.) Love and Lust
"You see him, your heart skips a beat, you're crazy about him, you'd do anything for him...is it love or is it lust? How can you tell? 
Lust is fun. It does not want to wait for anything, or anyone. It is here and now. It does not care about what important people in your life think. It is not concerned with work, school or other commitments. It is the definition of selfishness. 
Love is also fun. It is so much more than sex. There is room with love to care for everyone. If you are motivated by love you are not cutting others out in selfishness. If your relationship is based on love it is inclusive of friends, family and others. It looks to the future and is forgiving of the past. And true love will bring true and lasting happiness."

7.) The Look- That's tough to take.
" Your appearance is noticed. Looks do get boyfriends, jobs and free drinks. I am not saying that it is right, but it is true. Those looks may open a few more doors but without substance behind those eyes it will not last. Even the prettiest of faces will struggle to overcome life's challenges without a rational brain in the head and compassionate heart in the chest. Regardless of the body you have or the face you were given, nothing will make you more attractive than an honest smile on your lips and a sincere depth in your eyes."

STILL READING? Ok, now comes the best part of the book.
SNAPSHOTS.

First, I had to fill out a snapshot about myself. Some of the questions included, How important are the following things in a guy, what kinds of dates do you like, list in order the priorities in your life, how happy are you, how could you improve yourself etc, etc.
Now the VERY best part!
Every date I go on I fill out a date snapshot. I can't wait to get home from dates just so I can fill them out and analyze the situation. So boys, if I have ever been on a date with you, yes, your name is in this book. Lucky you right!? You can thank this book for helping me decide why we just weren't meant to be after all.
Here is how it goes
1. Who was the date with?
2. What did you do?
3. Who had the idea for the activity?
4. Who asked whom to go out?
5. Was the invitation to go out clear?
6. Did he tell you if you needed anything out of the ordinary?
8. What did he do to prepare for the date? -Wash or clean the car? Make special arrangements? Get dressed up or cleaned up?
9. What manners did he use?
10. How did you feel about going out with this guy before the date?
11. Was he on time?
12. Who paid?
13. What was the funniest moment you had?
14. What things did you talk about?
15. What did you like most about the date?
16. What did you like least?
17. Did he do anything to make you uncomfortable?
18. Were you at any point nervous, anxious or scared?
19. Were you comfortable with the level of intimacy?
20. Was he texting or talking to someone else?
21. Did you feel like he was interested in you and what you said?
22. Did he ask questions about you? 
23. How comfortable were you with the activity?
24. Overall, how well did he do at making you feel important?
25. Was it worth going?
26. What did he say that you liked best?
27. What did he say that you liked the least?
28. What are some other thoughts, comments or ideas that came out of the date?

One date I came home thinking, that was great! I didn't fall, we had fun, I came out of my shell and didn't act like my normal awkward self, he was funny, nice... 
Snapshot time. Filled it out. After each question I realized it was a total bomb of a date. I was watching the driver, not the road. So yes, I put my full trust in this book. It is so true that girls lower their standards for boys all the time. We think, he will change, I can change him. We can't. The reason boys get away with treating women so poorly is because we let them. In general, I believe girls don't hold themselves to a high enough standard. Hey, she may not be the tall, blonde, skinny, big chested super model he thought he deserved, but guess what, maybe you aren't the kind hearted, generous, caring man she had hoped for either. All in all, I think girls need to give themselves more credit. Girls shouldn't feel the need to keep a man around that treats her beneath himself just because she feels she will never find someone else. You will, and he will be worth the wait. 
Boys, I now hold you to much higher standards thanks to this little black book. Girls, you need one of these.

Love, me



5 comments:

Chanel Beazer

I don't even know you but I found you sited on another blog about this post and well I'm convinced I need that book. It's sounds A-MAZ-ZING

jennipeterson

Seriously, go buy it! So worth it!
If you don't mind me asking, what blog was it sited on? I would love to go read it!

karleerenae

You were sited on janeendittmann.blogspot.com and I'm so glad she did because I would have never seen this book otherwise!! Haha thank you for sharing =) are you getting paid for advertising? You should be!

jennipeterson

You are so welcome! Haha, I wish I was!

Kalina

Yes, this book sounds like a girl's must have book! Definitely going to hunt one down! Thanks for all your inspiring posts, they're amazing.

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